Genius

Hula Hoop Puppets - Oh Yes!

Woo-Hoo!!

Howdy Boys & Girls,

Very exciting news, I am now a blogger on 2 websites! I have written a piece for www.gigwise.com and they have put it on their site. Now as Jed will know I was rushed and I kinda wanted to expand more but they really liked it so who cares!!

Have a look and tell me what you think. - "It's Time To Stop MP3 Players Killing Off Albums"

New blog soon,

xx

Pantone have confirmed that it is indeed 'Shocking Pink'

Yes, I have been rubbish with this blog. I apologise profusely for that and will hope to make it up to you all somehow… And on that note, we cue the music:

First things first, I have bought a bike..

To set the scene, I haven’t owned a bike since I was 13ish and never ridden really ridden in the road. Regardless of this, I decided that a BMX would be perfect for me to save money on having to use the bus/tube and good exercise for my marathon training (and secretly I thought that if I got one I would be doing this in no time…..But turns out I think it would be more like this)

I popped down to Re-cycle in Elephant & Castle (I recommend the shop but not the area) and bought myself a shocking pink BMX. As you can see from the pic above 'Rosita'* is quite a looker, and although I friend of mine did point out that it looks like I have stolen a little girls birthday present, it has already got me out of some scrapes.

Having done a couple of short rides down to the shops and through the park to meet a friends, I was fairly confident with my ‘mad skills’ and yesterday decided to go for a longer ride to another part of town.

Mistake.

Riding on main roads with no cycle lane on a bike that could fit inside a Christmas cracker is utterly terrifying. I now know why BMXrs wear those full-face masks: to hide the look of sheer mind-numbing terror that is on their face (Kinda like this fat kid)

Due to this terror, I began to snake on and off the pavement. I was all going swimmingly until I turned a corner and ran into a Community Support Officer. On the pavement.

He called me to one side, made me take off my sunglasses and the conversation genuinely went like this:

CSO: “ Why are you riding on the pavement?”

RLP: “Because I don’t want to get hit by a car, Officer.”

C: “Do you know it is illegal to cycle on the pavements in The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea?”

R: ”No Sir, I did not.” (I honestly didn’t know it was illegal)

C: “Is this your bike?”

R: ”Yup.”

C: “Do you actually own this bike?”

R: “Yes Sir.”

C: “Why do you own a pink bike?”

R: “I think you'll find it is ‘shocking’ pink..”

C: “Why do you own a pink bike.”

R: “Because it’s cool.”

C: “It’s not cool. Girls have pink bikes”

R: “True, but men have ‘shocking’ pink bikes..”

This back and forth continued as we discussed the connotations of having a bike with such a hue until he let me off the £30 fine due to the fact that he - and I quote - "Felt sorry for me and my pink bike."

Me + Rosita* = An unstoppable force…


xx



* You must put your finest Hispanic accent whilst saying it.


P.S To tide you over -

• Webcam Window Fall
• Sporcle - Good pocrastination fodder. Especially like Mambo N0.5 (Got all of them, oh yeah), Mr Carlins 7 Dirty words (All 7) & Death Words (only 23)

Quick Note..

Proper post tomorrow but to tide you over:

A) Gotta love the stupidity of the BNP
B) Russian Roof Jumping - Watching him psych himself up is brilliant but if you are in a rush, skip to about half way..

xx

Mmmmm… Food?

Don’t get me wrong; while I love a lot of Japanese food (Sushi: amazing, Sashimi: yum, Teriaki, Soba noodles etc), fully traditional Japanese food is on the most part, not very nice. For the majority of nights I was over there, I had only traditional meals (using great quality ingredients) cooked at some of the highest standards yet although I forced myself to eat every plate clean to fully immerse myself, I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a gag reflex to a couple of dishes..


So many things are boiled and pickled to within an inch of their life, sucking all the flavour out of it leaving it a useless foodstuff and allowing the fish broth it is usually served in be the only flavour you can taste. And the radishes! There is a type of radish they love serving with various courses that smells like wet dog and tastes even worse. The first time I was served it, I proceeded to wolf down a large “spludge” of it in front of the General Manager of one of the hotels, whom I was dining with (The mixture of shock and awe on his face was priceless after which he told me that it was meant for mixing with your soy sauce, bit late now Ken). Even now it gives me shivers just thinking about it.


OH, AND TOFU!! What is the bloody point in Tofu??? They love it over here and yet it is a flavourless sponge that gets in the way and is extremely hard to pick up with chopsticks when you first start out. Then there is rice tofu, which has all the same quality yet is so chewy that you end up having to swallow it in one half choking yourself.


Having said all that, what I do really respect is the appreciation of the seasons that every chef has when preparing meals. They all try and source food locally and only use fish, veg and herbs that are in season. It is definitely something we could all learn from but it did throw up some curveballs:

The “in season” fish is Eel.

The right word to describe it is ‘interesting’, and falling right into the cliché as its tastes kinda like chicken.

The “in season” vegetable is what they call ‘Mugwort’ – Need I say more? Thought so.

xx

P.S. Jozin and Bazin = Lads

Sorry..

Sorry I still haven't posted yet, have been whacked by J-lag and the general craziness of everything at home, but new post will be up by the end of tomorrow so please keep tuned in as a spanking new post will be on it's way soon....

xx

P.S. They don't make Finnish instructional dance videos like they used to...

Thank You And Oyasuminasai...

Konnichiwa One & All,

I am sad to say that this is my final 'official' blog from Japan before I fly tomorrow.

"Oh-no!" I hear you cry (Well at least mum and that odd random stalker..)

But don't fret as I still have so much more to write about that I didn't get a chance to while I was here, so after a short break for R&R when i get home, I hope to try to write daily for the next week and if i get on a roll (and someone actually reads it), longer.

This is a rubbish final post from Japan I know but I am knackered, a bit emotional (Fell asleep on a train going the wrong way this evening, woke up in the equivalent of Slough outside central Tokyo) and am trying to get up at 4.30am for the Tsukiji fish market

So, nighty night and shall be back in touch soon..

xx

P.S. Godzilla count: 14

"I'm a drinker, a smoker, a midnight Tokyo-er"

Allllllrrrriiigghhhhhtttttt?

Hope all is well with you..

I have just recently arrived in Tokyo after a few days in the middle of nowhere, and it feels good to be back. Don't get me wrong, Wa No Santo was a lovely old school experience of sleeping on bamboo floors dressed in a traditional Yukata with the only sound being the river flowing by your window and only eating local roots and fish, but it was time to feel the pulse of the city again.

After a exciting experience (first and last time I could ever be a trainspotter) on the Shinkansen or 'Bullet' train (Which yes does look awesome, and yes, does travel ridiculously fast) that was only slightly dented by the most rude, arrogant and downright despicable bunch of Italian tourists* and the fact that due to high demand on the Friday trains I had to have a seat in the smoking compartment (Which actually wasn't too bad and kinda made me feel as though I was in the 50s/60s smoking on a plane).

But anyway, I am now at The Peninsula in a lovely suite and in desperate need of a shower to wash off the aftershave I was drenched in by those Makaronifressers/Hightalians**...

Goodnight & Stay frosty,

xx

*Disclaimer: I know they don't represent 99% of Italians, but they were utter cocks..
** Best slurs I could come up with thanks to the help of the lovely people at the RSDB..

Buenas Noches Ladies and Gents,

Just a quick post from Kyoto before two more days of AWOL Internet up by Takayama.

My first impressions of Kyoto weren’t great as on the way in from the airport all I saw were ugly concrete apartments then a relatively garish train station.

But after this morning I take 99% of it back. I went on a wander through the ancient temples, shrines etc dotted around town and they blew me away with the scale and beauty of the architecture and gardens…. No wonder they have about 5 Billion world heritage sites in town (Ok. 4, but you get my drift..)

Hopefully I’m going to be able upload some photos here (including one of the Imperial Palace for Felton) tonight if not then when I get to Tokyo, but they don’t do justice to the city and I couldn’t show you the interiors as you are not allowed to snap and inside…

Godzilla Count: 9

xx

P.S. Go on, hit her Lord Foulkes!! - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8045414.stm

Kai Spy WIth My Little Eye...

Howdy Partners,

I have just arrived in Kyoto and back to the Internet after two days in the ASO hills right at the southern tip of Japan. It was a really interesting & relaxing experience. Tucked in he middle of nowhere The Kai Resort mixes getting away from it all traditional Japanese guest houses with a twist of clean contemporary design.

I had a lovely time but they were serving Japanese food without even a hint of western influence which I am completely for – aside from if I am the person having to eat the eels in savoury custard at 8 in the morning, knowing you have to eat it as there is nowhere in a 30 mile radius that serves anything else. (I will do a separate post on food later…)


It amazes me how wherever I am you will always find someone who can understand English, no matter how remote you are – Except taxi drivers..

Now I may have just got a bad bunch, but the 3 I have had so far, not one had even the remotest clue what I was talking about or where the hell they were going. The driver to the resort stopped twice to ring god knows who but I assume the resort which meant we arrived an hour later then expected but to his credit, when we arrived he asked one of the staff how to say sorry in English an proceeded to repeat it over and over again.

On the return journey, the only way I can describe this guy was a male version of the old grandma from ‘Ferris Buellers Day Off’. He could barely see above the wheel and enjoyed overtaking lumber lorries on blind corners at 100km/h and when I tried to sign that I had plenty of time (tapping watch, giving thumbs up and a smile) he took it as that I was in a hurry and proceeded to speed up with a hint of fear in his eyes… Ok, maybe that was my bad….

Well that’s it from me at the mo, I am positively knackered and brassed off that the only English news channel the hotel TV has is being voiced over in Japanese (But is quite interesting having Huw Edwards with a female voice)

Apologies if there are any mistakes/poor wording, just got to the hotel and am knackered)

P.S. Awkward Family Photos - Brilliant
xx

OT: Part 3

This evening I had a meal at the 'Tapas' bar, which is one of The Mandarin Orientals 3 Michelin starred restaurants. Think Fat Duck or elBulli (Where the head chef once worked,) with an Asian twist and you will pretty much get what my 20 dish tasting menu was like.

There are only 8 seats in the the "Molecular Bar" where you sit in front of the chefs as they prepare everything from charcoal covered Wagu beef to a cappuccino made from cotton candy.

Its is definitely up there as one of the best meals I have ever had, just mind blowing in terms of the way the chefs looks at food through the microscope..

Sorry so brief, have so much more to say but I have to get to bed as I have a nervous journey on the subway system to the airport where I am flying down to Kumamoto to stay at the Kai Resort..

I'm not sure if they will have the internet down there so please forgive me if I don't post anything for 2 or so days but I promise to to a bigger one next time.

Oh, and I have started putting a couple of photos up on Picasa but the camera has been acting up a bit so will try and take more (Especially one of the Imperial Palace, just for you Alex F.)

Hope all is well and love to all and goodnight..xx


P.S. The Keyboard Cat!

P.P.S. I know it may seem stupid but just so everyone understands, if you click on the words that are in a different colour, they take you to interesting websites etc..

Godzilla Tally: 3

Okey Tokey: Part 2

So its morning on day 2 of my trip and I'm in Tokyo. Still really weird to be saying that.

After a lovely (11-hour) flight on Japan Airlines and a "Limo" bus* into the city centre, I arrived at my first hotel - The Mandarin Oriental.....

Wow. Situated on the top 8 floors of the Mitsui Tower, The MO has beautiful views over Tokyo and on the bit of clear sky I had yesterday I had a view of Mt. Fuji from my room. Sadly due to the heat today (around 25°C) that view has vanished as is quite lot of smog in this massive sprawling metropolis....

Above you get a look at my room. In the other part of the room is a walk in wardrobe & ensuite with a mental loo that, although the heated seat is a nice touch, keeps on trying to squirt water up my arse. (It is technology like that which makes me feel that some things are best left old school, but that's just me..)

After dropping my stuff of at my room I was shown around the hotel then onto the spa where I "endured" a 3-hour 'Mandarin Oriental Signature Therapy' treatment where I was lightly massaged to within an inch of my life and which I can safely say is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my life (And with the hefty price tag attached to it the best I'll ever get...)

Right, now off to explore Tokyo in the proper confused tourist fashion (Massive map and a camera around my neck) then back for dinner.

R x

P.S. I'll be keeping a "Papped" tally at the end of each post to keep count of how many times people take a picture of me in an "Ahh! It's Godzilla!" type of way..

*(I nearly gave the driver a coronary by slowing down the otherwise perfectly on-time bus service)

Godzilla Tally: 1

P.P.S. Link for news on the upcoming Sherlock Holmes film - Looks awesome.

Okey Tokey

Evening Boys & Girls,

Well, I made it.... But am so tired that i'm gonna get a bit of shut-eye and report back here first thing in the morning. xx

"I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane.. Be Back In 11 Da-a-ays.."

Afternoon Boys and Girls,

T minus 5hrs till my flight and I am finally packed!

It really hit home how bizarre Japan is going to be when the thing I spent most of my time deliberating over when packing was my socks, due to the amount of time I will spend in slippers.. (Will they really have a pair size 11 1/2?)

I really have no idea what to expect but it should be quite an experience...

Might try and fire another post off once I'm at the airport but if not 'Sayohnara' until Tokyo... xx

P.S. For any of you that are on Twitter, come join me. My username is: RupertLP.

Feeling Japanese..

Evening All,

As most will know, I am going to Japan for "Work" on Thursday. In this blog I'll attempt to keep you posted on my antics while I'm out there...

R x